She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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