im drinking this country out of the recession.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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