She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I fill condoms, not promises.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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