her vagine was all disorganized.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
God, I missed his penis.
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