At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Found the puke drawer
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
