Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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