turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize