I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
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Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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