Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.