Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????