oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team