smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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