my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
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I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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