those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
