A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize