He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This is the high leading the old right now
Every concussion has its silver lining
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
