I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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