im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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