Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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