I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
