he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
