my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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