yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
