70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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