He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
