Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
