sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
