Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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