Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
