i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
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Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize