wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.