Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza