Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists