She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count