Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
