Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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