cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize