Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
