I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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