carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
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Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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