you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
