So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
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im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
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that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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