32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.