everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.