we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
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there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
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You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat