Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?