she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do