Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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