Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.