Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.