I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?