I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.