i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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