found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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