What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
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At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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