just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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