i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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