this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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