I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm sobbing to NWA
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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