you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
