No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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