HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
