Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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