hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
